Report by Stuart Carapola & PWinsider.com
We open with a video package looking back at last week when Sting made a #1 contender's match between James Storm and Jeff Hardy to determine Robert Roode's next challenger, only for Bully Ray to attack both men and again leave us without a challenger. And in a perfectly logical follow up to that attack, we begin tonight's episode backstage where Jeff Hardy is beating the CRAP out of Bully Ray and choking him with a broomstick. He rams him into every ladder and wall he can find, past a couple of barbed wire boartds that just happen to be laying around in the background, and then they obliviously keep fighting as Bobby Roode pulls up in a giant white pickup truck, gets out and slams the door behind him, and attacks Hardy from behind. Hardy goes down, and Bubba continues working him over with a pipe before throwing a big wooden pallet down on top of him. Bubba tells Roode to open the back of the truck, and they dump him into the back and get ready to make off with Hardy, no doubt to bury him in the desert, but James Storm runs in to make the save and goes after both men. He busts Bubba open hardway it seems, but Roode jumps him from behind and they manage to beat him down as well. They get ready to put Storm in the truck with Hardy, but Sting comes out with his baseball bat and nails both of them until they run off.
From there, we go right to the ring for our opening match...
#1 Contender's Match: Velvet Sky vs Mickie James vs Tara
They all shake hands and then Tara boots Velvet in the midsection, Mickie goes for a clothesline but Tara falls into a back bridge and Mickie wipes Velvet out with a clothesline. Velvet recovers and dumps Mickie to the floor, then goes to cover Tara but Tara picks her up and rams her to the corner and goes for the Widow's Peak. Mickie breaks that up with a boot to the midsection and gets an O'Connor roll for 2. Mickie and Tara go at it in the corner and Tara just slams Mickie face first into the mat by the hair. Tara charges Mickie in the corner and runs into Mickie's elbow as we go to commercial.
We come back as Velvet hits a monkey flip on Tara and goes for the Pedigree, but Mickie stops her with a hanging neckbreaker. Tara slams Mickie and does the ass shaking standing moonsault, Mickie rolls out of the way and Velvet starts beating them both up. Velvet with a flying headscissors on Mickie but Tara takes her out with a clothesline. Mickie with a flapjack on Tara as I think I see Ron Jeremy sitting in the audience behind her, then she goes up top and takes Velvet out with the flying hooch to the mouth. Tara dumps Velvet to the floor, Mickie spinkicks Tara in the jaw and covers, but Tara gets her hand on the bottom rope at 2. Mickie goes for the DDT, Velvet takes her out with a clothesline, Tara gives Velvet a spinning side suplex onto Mickie and covers Mickie for the win.
Gail Kim is backstage watching on a monitor and congratulates her, saying the best woman won, but she's going to show why she's the best Knockout in history is. She and Tara know each other inside and out (???) but she'll prove she's the best at Against All Odds.
Sting is backstage, and he's...WALKING!
We take a look back at the brawl that opened the show, and then Sting comes out to the ring with a still selling Hardy and Storm. I like to see that. He tells Bully Ray and Robert Roode to get down to the ring right now, leading to a brawl between the two sides until Sting uses a...shall we say, show of authority (with his bat) and separates everyone. They start fighting again, so Sting drops his microphone and goes after Bubba and Roode with the bat again. Sting says it's obvious you can't tame wild animals, then agrees with the crowd to let them fight, so Hardy and Storm will take on Roode and Bubba tonight in a tag match. The fight starts again and Storm suggests to Sting that they make it a tables match. Sting asks the crowd what they think, and Ron Jeremy says it sounds great, so we have a tables match tonight.
Alex Shelley is backstage saying he's gone longer without being in the ring than he has since he was 18, and tonight he's got Zema Ion who is good, but he's not X Division Title material, and when he gets Aries he's going to win the title because Aries isn't in his class.
Eric Young is backstage getting ready for his match and runs into a guy he thinks is Sammy Davis Jr, but then Winter and Angelina Love come out and pretend to seduce him so Angelina can try and kick him in the cajones, but he's wearing a cup for, as Eric says, his yeast infection. They run off as ODB shows up and tells him they're wrestling Winter and Angelina later and he better hit those hussies.
Alex Shelley vs Zema Ion
They tie up and Ion takes Shelley to the ropes, Shelley gets a side headlock and really cranks on it, Ion shoots him to the ropes but Shelley gets a series of chain wrestling moves ending in a stack for 2. Shelley opens up on Ion with chops, then a snapmare and the indy kick to the back. Ion begs for mercy as Shelley goes after him in the corner, but cheapshots Shelley when he backs off and hits a twisting crossbody off the second rope for 2. Ion goes for a headscissors, but Shelley just dumps him on his face and sends him to the outside. Ion dodges a baseball slide, but Shelley dodges an elbowdrop as he comes back into the ring. Ion hits a hotshot and a neckbreaker for 2 and then pokes Shelley in the eye, but doesn't get disqualified for some reason. Hmmm, I thought they changed the rule. This allows Shelley to recover and run over Ion with some clotheslines and a Flatliner into the second turnbuckle, then Shelley comes off the ropes with a double stomp, Ion moves and hits a DDT out of nowhere. Ion goes to the top for the 450, Shelley dodges (and Ion would have fallen way short anyway), and Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 for 3.
Winner: Alex Shelley
AJ Styles is backstage wondering what kind of effect the business has had on everyone because all his buddies in Fortune have kind of turned their backs on him, so he knew it was only a matter of time with Frankie. He can be Daniels' puppet, but they're going to get to the bottom of this TONIGHT.
Tara is also backstage, and she's thrilled to be the #1 contender and will have the belt around her size 28 waist soon. She knows Gail's repertoire and all her dirty tricks, but she'll be ready for them.
Eric Bischoff shows up at Garett Bischoff's MMA gym and wants to know where his trainer is. We'll find out who it is...NEXT!
We come back to Eric Bischoff at Garett's gym, and Eric is clearly stunned to see who it is, but tells the cameraman to stop filming and get out of here and we don't get a chance to find out who it is.
Angelina Love & Winter vs Eric Young & ODB
EY and Angelina start, and of course EY goes to tie up with the referee instead of one of his opponents. Then he does it again. Then he cartwheels and claps to the crowd. Then he ties up with the referee again and Winter finally nails him from behind. He slowly turns around and takes his pants off, so Winter bails out of the ring. Angelina comes in so ODB tags herself in and runs over Angelina with a clothesline and smashes her with an avalanche in the corner. She hits the Bronco Buster, knocks Winter off the apron, then goes toe to toe with Angelina while EY ties up with the referee AGAIN. Winter hooks ODB's foot from the outside and Angelina yanks her down by the hair and covers for 2. Winter with a side backbreaker for 2, then hangs ODB in the Tree of Woe and chokes her with her boot. Winter distracts the referee while Angelina chokes her from the outside and then Winter comes over and kicks her in the vajayjay and covers for 2. ODB goes to make the hot tag, stops to take a hit of the ol' bird, and goes toe to toe with Angelina instead. ODB with a series of shoulderblocks and a fallaway slam, then EY gets Winter up in a fireman's carry while ODB gets Angelina up in what I suppose is a firewoman's carry, they do stereo airplane spins and ODB hits a Samoan drop for the win.
Winner: Eric Young & ODB
ODB gives Young a big smooch as they celebrate in the ring, and then we go backstage to Bully Ray who asks Roode when his partner grew a set of balls. Roode says he didn't see that coming, and Bubba says he didn't keep him in check like he did with Devon. Bubba says he's the World Champion, Roode says yeah, and Bubba says "not for long." Roode asks what that meant and Bubba says never mind because they need to go do this, but neither wants to turn their back on the other and leave first.
We see a video package recapping the history between Matt Morgan & Crimson and Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus, including last week when Crimson beat Magnus but the champs got laid out by Joe and Magnus.
Samoa Joe vs Matt Morgan
Joe tries to take Morgan's legs out with kicks, then takes Morgan to the corner and fires off some right jabs. Morgan throttles Joe and backs him across the ring and lays in some hard right hands and a chop, followed by a Boss Man Drop on the top rope. Morgan with a legdrop on the ring apron and a headbutt, never a good idea against a Samoan. Joe gets to the top rope and gets the Kokina clutch, but Morgan just backs into the corner to get Joe to break the hold. Morgan with some hard elbows and a running clothesline for 2. Morgan charges Joe in the corner and eats his elbow, does it again and catches the boot, and Joe comes off the second rope with a boot to the face. Joe with a running elbow and leaping enziguiri in the corner for 2, then they go toe to toe in the corner and Morgan comes out on top of that exchange and starts rolling again with more clotheslines. Morgan with a running clothesline in the corner, across the ring for another one, and a side suplex for 2. Morgan signals that he's going to finish, but takes too long and Joe gets an inverted atomic drop and senton for 2. Joe gets a spinning toehold, but Morgan kicks him off into the corner and hits a discus clothesline for the win.
Winner: Matt Morgan
Magnus goes after Crimson on the floor and Morgan goes to save, but Joe comes after him from behind and takes out his legs, setting Magnus up to connect with a top rope elbowdrop, then they head up the ramp and taunt Morgan and Crimson from the entryway.
AJ Styles is backstage, and he's...WALKING!
James Storm and Jeff Hardy are backstage saying how funny it is that they went from kicking each other's butts to watching each other's backs, but that's because it's business and they don't take it personally. Tonight they started the show with a bang and end it with a BOOM!
AJ Styles comes out to the ring and says he wants to know why Kazarian turned on him and why he's letting Daniels order him around like a dog, but Daniels' music hits and he comes out with Kazarian, who can't even make eye contact with Styles. Kazarian starts to talk, but Daniels snaps his fingers and Kazarian hands him the microphone. Daniels says it's familiar to see him standing in the ring complaining because for ten years, whenever he faces some adversity, he comes out and gets a microphone to complain so everyone can hear, and if the Golden Boy doesn't get his way, he throws a tantrum, he throws microphones, fists, chairs, or whatever at other athletes. They're not playing this game because Kazarian doesn't owe AJ and answers or a damn thing. AJ says that's fine because there's other ways of getting answers, he climbs out of the ring and goes after them but Daniels says do it just like a thug from Gainesville, Georgia. AJ says he's got a better way: he'll turn his back and let Kazarian get in the ring and take his head off and he wants Kazarian to make his decision right now. Kazarian turns to leave, but Daniels stops him and tells him to go get him right now. Kazarian marches to the ring...but stops. Daniels asks him what he's doing and tells him to just take his head off, then goes after AJ himself. AJ quickly takes him out with a leaping enziguiri, then tells Kazarian that he doesn't care what's going on between he and Daniels, but he needs to make it right, make his decision, and get in the ring with him right now. Kazarian looks down at Daniels, then gets up on the apron and hesitates before getting in the ring. AJ sticks his hand out, but Daniels tells him to stop and says he knows exactly why he can't shake AJ's hand and to get out of the ring right now. Kazarian hangs his head and follows Daniels out of the ring, and Daniels says he's had it up to here and AJ has put his hands on him for the last time, so he's going to go to Sting to propose a match to settle this once and for all: he wants AJ Styles to take on Frankie Kazarian, and tells Kazarian to go to Sting and ask for the match right now.
It's main event time!
Jeff Hardy & James Storm vs Robert Roode & Bully Ray
Bubba's still got the blood on his head from earlier, really nice touch. The match immediately spills out to the floor and they fight around ringside and occasionally ram each other into the ominous tables at ringside. Bully Ray tries to suplex Hardy through a table, but Hardy hooks his foot on the ropes and sinks back down before ramming Bubba into the steps and coming off the apron with a double axhandle. Storm goes for a suplex on the ramp, Roode blocks and reverses to one of his own as Hardy unsuccessfully tries to suplex Bubba into the table and gets slammed as a result. Bubba tells Roode to put Storm's head on the table and goes to whip it with the chain, but Storm fights his way out and Hardy comes out of nowhere to come to the rescue as we go to commercial.
After the commercial we're back and Storm is spewing beer in Bubba's face and ramming him into the guardrail. Hardy catapults Roode into the ringpost and then slides a table into the ring. Storm rolls the champion into the ring and they set the table up and try to suplex Roode through it, but Bubba pulls the table out of the way and wipes both men out with a double clothesline. Bubba drills both men square in the face with right hands, then tries to backdrop Hardy through the table, but now Storm moves the table and saves Hardy, then clotheslines Bubba out to the floor. Storm goes out after him, but Roode puts the boots to Storm from the apron before going back after Hardy. Roode sets a table up in the corner and Hardy starts to fight back, but Bubba nails him and tries to charge Hardy with a big boot. Hardy moves and Bubba's foot goes through the table, and Storm dumps him to the outside again, but turns around right into a spinebuster from Roode. Bubba drags Hardy over to the corner and pulls him into the ringpost by the hair as Roode takes Storm outside and slams his face into the ring steps. Roode brings Storm back in and tries to superplex him onto the table, but Hardy comes in from behind and hits the Twist of Fate, then sets Roode up on the table so Storm can come off the top rope with a flying elbowdrop that sends Roode through the table and brings this match to an end.
Winners: James Storm & Jeff Hardy
Bully Ray comes in after the match and just DESTROYS both men with a chair while Taz explains how embarrassed he must be at losing a tables match. Bubba pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up on the inside, he grabs Hardy and tells Roode to hit Storm. Roode kicks Storm in the face, then they set Hardy up and deliver a Super Bomb through the table, leaving him a flattened mess as EMTs come in to check on him and Bubba and Roode again stand tall to close the show.