Hello my AEW/411 brethren! Iiiiiiiiit’s Saturday, you know what that – wait, it’s THURSDAY?! Oh boy. Collision is ingrained in me as a weekend show, so while it’s a TREAT to have it on tonight, it means the working day tomorrow is going to be a struggle. Let’s just embrace the weekend vibes and stretch it out as long as possible, yeah?

Annoyingly I haven’t had a chance to catch up on last night’s Dynamite but it seems like there won’t be all that much crossover tonight. Daniel Garcia takes on one member of FTR, having come face to face with them at the end of last week’s Collision. We’ll also see a rematch between Mike Bailey and Dralistico, Ricochet vs Angelico, not to mention the renewal of the Willow Nightingale/Kris Statlander feud, albeit with both women in a much different place this time.

I’m sure there will be some surprises to make the most of the Thursday timeslot, so let’s all sit back and turn our attention to the Masonic Temple Theatre in Detroit!

Location: Detroit, MI

Venue: Masonic Temple Theatre

Commentators: Nigel McGuinness & Tony Schiavone

*We are LIIIIIVE and kicking off the show with the Women’s World champion, ‘Timeless’ Toni Storm. The lights go out and she gets a spotlight in the box seats, nice. Storm has a microphone.

So many men have taken a shot at her here, she’s feeling like Abraham Lincoln. She’ll never forget her first time; messy, sweaty, painful, but she wanted more. Once a month, once a week, twice a week, she was hooked. But then it became more risky. One at a time, two at a time, three at a time! Incorporating random objects. All the while being watched by perverts. One day it will not end well for her, it will break her body and soil her soul but it was what she was born to do. If you think she was referring to sexual intercourse, get your minds out of the gutter. Because the best bang is nothing compared to fighting for this title. She’s not waiting for a Hayter or a CEO, so lineup the next batch of sloptarts. Spit on it, spin on it, and let’s get Timeless!

*Lexy Nair is backstage with Paragon. Roddy was disappointed with the result of the 2/3 Falls match last week. They’ve had a bumpy road, but Kyle won’t take anything away from themselves. 99 out of 100 times, Roddy and Kyle win that match. Cole says they will have plenty of other chances.

Grizzled Young Veterans show up and call Paragon soft, they’ve forgotten what it feels like to fight for your spot. So let GYV remind them. Roddy and Kyle think that sound fun. Now THAT is a great match-up on paper, yes please!

Ricochet vs Angelico (w/ Serpentico)

ANGELICO SIGHTING~! Zach Gowen is shown in the crowd, ha! Ricochet with a snapmare and he shows early dominance. Angelico sweeps the leg and gets arm control. Ricochet escapes to the apron and pulls Angelico to the floor, skinning the cat to hit a slingshot tornillo. Ricochet grabs a chair and chases off Serpentico, before sending Angelico back inside the ring. Dropkick to the face, cover, 1 count. Angelico kicks Ricochet away but gets a neckbreaker for his troubles, cover, 1, 2, no.

Ricochet looks for a 450, lands on his feet, step up kick, knee to the face, Angelico with a knee of his own. Flatliner from Angelico! Leaping clotheslines from Angelico, looking good here. Abdominal stretch applied, and Angelico slaps the bald head of Ricochet! Shoulder breaker attempt, nope, Angelico flips round into a single leg crab. Ricochet grabs for the ropes but Angelico pulls it away and rears back on the arm too…only for Ricochet to touch the ropes with his feet. Springboard clothesline from Ricochet and a standing SSP, 1, 2, kickout.

Vertigo connects, Ricochet doesn’t cover. Spirit Gun connects. 1, 2, 3.

Winner: Ricochet

Ricochet takes the mic and tells the crowd that he welcomes their boos. Their boos mean nothing because he’s seen what they cheer for. He’s been here less than a year and he’s already beaten all the AEW favorites. Ricochet makes eye contact with Zach Gowen in the crowd, and says we have a legend in the house. Ricochet remembers growing up watching wrestling and being a big fan of Gowen, and remembers when Brock used to beat his ass up and down the arenas. Ricochet speaks to Gowen’s kids, and says maybe Gowen doesn’t have a leg in the fight anymore. Ricochet shoves him a little but here come security. Ricochet assures them he’s just talking…but then attacks security! Ricochet tosses one guy head first into the barricade, another into the steel steps. Haha he’s still on the mic. giving it the Booker T treatment. Ricochet takes the scissors and cuts off some of the hair of a security officer, but here comes Zach Gowen!

Gowen grabs the scissors…and Ricochet takes out the good leg of Gowen! Spirit Gun is loaded, connects! And he pulls off the prosthetic leg, walking off with it. WHAT A HEEL. Ricochet poses with the leg and walks off using it as a crutch as we head to commercial.

AR Fox, Bandido & The Outrunners vs Don Callis Family (Kyle Fletcher, Rocky Romero, Trent, & Lance Archer)

Don Callis joins commentary for this one. Bandido and Fletcher to start. Now this would be a good singles match! Fletcher with a shoulder block to take down Bandido, tijeras in return, and a tag to Trent. Romero in too, and RPG Vice attempt some double teaming, only for Fox to tag in with a swan dive. Archer in for a Blackout attempt, denied. Turbo Floyd and Truth Magnum double team Romero and biel Trent, before delivering stereo splashes in opposite corners. Archer comes in from behind and delivers a double chokeslam.

Archer works over Magnum, culminating in a big right hand. Quick tags from the Don Callis Family as they run a train on Magnum with splashes in the corner and cover for 2. Body slam by Fletcher, and another. Boot to tge face, suplex attempt, and Turbo reverses into a rollup for 2. Tag to Bandido! Rebound tornillo off the top from Bandido on Fletcher, but here come RPG Vice to attack from behind. Stereo atomic drops from the Outrunners, and they toss Archer to the floor. Bandido helps out Fox, lets him stand on his shoulders and he dives to the floor!! Bandido with a step up ACROSS THE BACKS OF THE OUTRUNNERS and a tope con hilo to the floor! Daaaamn. SUNAVABITCH ELBOW!! Fox and Bandido with frog splashes, 1, 2, NOOO.

21 Plex attempted on Fletcher, reversed though. Tijeras attempt, Kyle puts the brakes on and drops Bandido in a Michinoku Driver instead. Tag to AR Fox, straight into a canonball on Fletcher. Fisherman’s brainbuster on Trent! Draping DDT on Archer, Fox is a house of fire here. Fox skins the cat into a dropkick, rolls back into a cutter on Fletcher!! And another on Romero! Good LORD.

Trent grabs the leg of Fox, allowing Fletcher to jump in with a leaping knee. Bandido dives on Fletcher, Kyle catches him though and dumps him. Fox with a double cutter on RPG Vice. To the top, Archer catches him with a goozle and tosses him to the mat. Jackal Driver (like a double team package driver), the new finisher from RPG Vice, connects for the 1, 2, 3.

Winners: Don Callis Family

Oh, they’ve signed Ricochet vs Zach Gowen for Beach Break next week!

*Jon Moxley speaks at an undisclosed location. The consensus is Samoa Joe’s gonna kick his ass. The question is, how long can Joe beat his ass? Moxley’s got all night. Joe is one of the few guys who he has genuine respect for. He is the embodiment of a champion, but he’s not the AEW champion; Moxley is. No matter what happens in that cage, no matter what he is put through…he’s been through worse. He’s weathered the kind of storms that would keep these kids up at night. He doesn’t need to be feared or respected by Joe, he just needs him to show up. Next week there is nowhere else he would rather be than locked up in a steel cage with the baddest man in pro wrestling, Samoa Joe. He didn’t build his reputation on sand. The only thing that matters is who is the last man standing.

Anthony Bowens (w/ Billy Gunn) vs Lee Johnson (w/ Blake Christian)

I’m sure it’s too early to judge, but this ‘5-tool player’ thing doesn’t seem to have many legs. Snapmare takedown from Bowens, rollup for 2. Johnson with a go behind, Bowens comes back with a big chop to the chest. More knife edge chops in the corner. Bowens follows Johnson to the floor, who runs into Billy Gunn. Right hand from Bowens and he sends him into the barricade. Back in the ring, Fameasser connects. Bownado follows up, Christian gets on the apron causing a distraction, allowing Johnson to send Bowens to the floor. Johnson with a tope con hilo but almost misses him, splatting on the mat on the outside, ouch. Back in the ring, enziguri from Johnson, thrust kick, but Bowens comes back with a superkick. Bowens calls for the Mollywhop, Christian again gets on the apron, rollup for 2. Bowens catches him with the Mollywhop, 1, 2, 3.

Winner: Anthony Bowens

Post-match, Billy Gunn tosses Blake Christian to the floor as Bowens takes the microphone. What the crowd just saw was the perfect combination of intelligence, the look, and the it factor. He’s in a good mood so he tells Detroit to throw ’em up and make some noise. He doesn’t say the line, but he scissors with Billy Gunn anyway.

*The Gates of Agony make their way to the ring, not dressed for action tonight. Bishop Kaun takes the mic.

Bryan Keith. Big Bill. You think you can walk through these Gates unburned? Hell no. Paradise has to be earned. These Gates will stop them in their tracks. This time, they’re not doing it in the parking lot. They want to do this right here, right now.

The Gates call out the Learning Tree, and here they come! Big Bill and Bryan Keith head to the ring, and here we go, impromptu fight!

They quickly spill to the floor, with Bill and Liona pairing off. Liona charges at Bill, Bill sidesteps and Liona flies over the barricade hard. Keith runs at Kaun, who catches him and hits an Air Raid Crash off the ramp through two tables!!

Bill and Liona continue fighting as security attempt to break them up…SPEAR OFF THE RAMP THROUGH MORE TABLES from Liona! All four men are down and that’s it, we’re leaving them there.

*We go straight into a video promo for Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford vs Anna Jay and Harley Cameron. Penelope tells Cameron to stop hiding behind Anna Jay’s phat ass. Cameron spanks Anna and jumps on her like a horse to ride off into the distance.

*Video package highlighting the history between Willow Nightingale and Kris Statlander.

Willow Nightingale vs Kris Statlander

They shove each other a little as the bell rings, and Willow BOOPS Stat! Slap, yeah that was earned. Crossbody from Statlander, mocking Willow’s pose this time. We get the spider graphic deal on screen again for our impending new arrival. Sunset flip from Statlander gets 2, kick to the face gets another 2. They trade 2 counts, Statlander rebounds off the middle rope with a back elbow. POUNCE by Willow and Statlander rolls to the floor. To the apron, CANONBALL connects! Willow looks for a suplex but Statlander reverses and gets a suplex of her own on the floor. Another! Back in the ring, Statlander nails a scoop slam and covers for 2.

Clubbing blow to the back of the neck from Willow, Russian legsweep, and she locks in a modified body scissors. Stat with a body scissors of her own, into a grounded full nelson. They trade slaps to the chest, forearms now. German suplex from Nightingale! One from Statlander! Clotheslines delivered in unison from both women, and they both go down. Running hip attack in the corner, Statlander counters, Pele kick. Spinebuster from Willow, 1, 2, no. Repeated clotheslines in the corner from Willow, jackknife from Stat gets 2. Thrust kick, axe kick combo, cover, 1, 2, Willow kicks out. Snap DVD! 1, 2, NO. Statlander levels Willow on the turnbuckles and climbs up with her…superplex! Ohh but Willow comes back with a lariat. Babe with the Powerbomb! But Statlander rolls to the outside. Wheeler Yuta shows up to distract the ref, and Marina Shafir interferes to choke out Willow! Statlander didn’t know what happened but hits the Staturday night Fever to get the 1, 2, 3.

Winner: Kris Statlander

*Video package for SKYE BLUE! She returns at Beach Break next week. It’s popping off in the comments right now, isn’t it?!

Dark Order vs Konosuke Takeshita & Josh Alexander (w/ Don Callis)

Dark Order sighting~! Don Callis Family attack before the bell, Reynolds tries to make a comeback but Takeshita hits a running dropkick on the apron. Reynolds makes the tag to Uno, who comes in with a running headscissors on Takeshita. Takeshita with a Blue Thunder Bomb to Reynolds and tags in Alexander, who gets Uno on his shoulders. Takeshita leaps off the top rope for a diving knee, they slightly mistimed it though. C4 Spike on Reynolds, 1, 2, 3.

Winners: Konosuke Takeshita & Josh Alexander

‘Speedball’ Mike Bailey vs Dralistico

Dralistico backs Bailey into the corner and beats him down. Running kick is caught, Bailey nails a kick to the gut in return. To the floor, Dralistico ducks a kick off the apron and nails a right hand. Asai moonsault connects on the ramp from Speedball, and he keeps up the pressure, until Dralistico gouges the eyes and hurracanranas Bailey into the steel steps! Kick to the side of the head, and Dralistico hits the Tranquilo pose on the apron.

Dralistico works over Bailey around the ringside area and takes a moment to pose to the fans. He shoves Bailey back in the ring, and applies a grounded abdominal stretch. Springboard flipping senton connects, cover, 1, 2, Bailey kicks out. They trade kicks, and then jockey in the corner, Bailey with kicks and Dralistico with chops. Hard hitting stuff here. Quick fire kicks, both men miss kicks until Bailey connects with a huge thrust kick, that was niiice. Spin kick, kick to the chest…standing SSP connects, 1, 2, no.

Falcon arrow from Bailey, he heads up top…450 knees misses but he rolls through, mahistral cradle from Dralistico for 2 though. Misses a sweep, Dralistico with a crucifix bomb! Monkey flip into a DESTROYER from Bailey! Spin kick attempt by Bailey but Dralistico gets there first with a spin kick of his own. Dralistico hooks the arms on the apron, avoided…moonsault double knees from Bailey!! Tornado kick, 1, 2, 3.

Winner: ‘Speedball’ Mike Bailey

*Before Bailey can celebrate, RUSH arrives on the stage and POINTS ANGRILY at him. Sign me up.

*Tribute to Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael will be on Collision next week. Here comes Mongo!

Daniel Garcia vs “A Member of FTR”

As FTR and Stokely head to the ring, we hear that it’s Dax Harwood that Garcia will be facing. Lockup, Garcia backs him up in the corner and Bryce Remsburg has to break them up. Straight right hand from Dax while Bryce isn’t looking, boo this man! Both men trade chops, shoulder tackle by Dax, and Garcia picks the legs and unleashes a flurry of right hands. Swinging neckbreaker from Harwood. Dax drops a few knees on the back of the head. Dax looks for the piledriver but he hasn’t worn Garcia down enough. They head to the floor, again goes for the piledriver, but Garcia reverses and catapults Dax into the ringpost.

Dax is busted open as Garcia keeps up the pressure with right hands. He hits the dance and follows up with the running John Woo dropkick to the barricade, and again…and AGAIN! Garcia looks for one more but Cash Wheeler steps in the way. The diversion works, allowing Dax to come out with a lariat on the floor. Dax grabs the ring bell, Bryce Remsburg sees it and grabs it away from him. Garcia twists the legs and locks in the Dragon Tamer, but Cash gets involved and hits a Tower of London from the apron to the floor. Cash points at Nigel, oh it’s happening isn’t it?! Daddy Magic appears and goes to town on Cash, and Cash is forced to escape, running backstage, with Matt Menard following suit. That leaves just Dax, Garcia and Stokely at ringside.

Back in the ring, Dax connects with a brainbuster for a 2 count. Rollup gets 2 but Dax levels him again. He drapes him in the ropes and hits a series of strikes, before nailing a draping DDT. Arrogant cover gets 2. Garcia fires up and slaps Dax in the chest repeatedly and comes back with a clothesline. Dax lures him in with a right hand, but it’s not enough and Garcia levels him with another clothesline. 10 count mounted punches in the corner from Garcia, he looks for a belly-to-back an eventually gets it, but Dax has pulled off the turnbuckle padding. Dragon Tamer attempt, Dax kicks him away into the turnbuckle padding. Slingshot powerbomb connects, 1, 2, NO. Harwood up top, Danny catches him, heads up with him…top rope superplex…and Garcia holds on! He takes him back to the top rope! Another superplex, and he stays connected. THREE AMIGOS SUPERPLEX! This Is Awesome chants go up.

To their feet, they trade more strikes and head back outside the ring again. Garcia chases Dax into the crowd where they fight out into the stands. They fight right up by Nigel and Tony, and Dax purposefully shoves Nigel from behind. NIGEL AIN’T TAKING THAT!! Nigel gets in his face…but then puts his headset back on trying to stay professional, but Dax shoves him once more!

Dax and Garcia work back into the ring, Stokely gets on the apron. NIGEL HEADS TO THE RING! Dax is looking for the piledriver, but he stops when he sees Nigel. UPPERCUT FROM NIGEL! Casaewh is back, Daddy Magic takes him out. Garcia, Menard and Nigel stand tall and I guess this match was thrown out? No bell or announcement though. WE’RE OUTTA TIME!

Winner: No Contest

That’s all folks! Collision will be back at its regular time on Saturday 18th for the Beach Break edition – see you then!