The following results are courtesy of our friend Matt Boone of Rajah.com:
This week's edition of AEW Dynamite kicks off with the usual theme song and cold open video and then we shoot inside the Canada Life Centre venue in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada where Excalibur welcomes us to the show.
From there, we hear "The Dapper Yapper" Justin Roberts introduce the AEW World Champion. Maxwell Jacob Friedman emerges alongside four lovely ladies who escort him down to the ring, which is decked out for his advertised re-Bar Mitzvah.
Once MJF gets to ringside, he does his best Colby Covington impression, tongue-kissing one of the four girls to the loud boos of the crowd. He hits the ring and streamers fall from the ceiling like an ROH show. He asks for his music to be cut off.
He starts off by getting cheap heat from the Canadian crowd, saying they used to admire Bret Hart when Shawn Michaels was clearly better. He goes on to say his religion, Judaism is the only one that matters, while wearing his Yamaka. He then boasts losing his V-card when he first became a man, then touts beating Bryan Danielson to become the iron man.
Now he says it's time to celebrate with his re-Bar Mitzvah. Some Jewish party music plays and out comes a bunch of people with chairs as the fans clap to the tune of the music. The guys in the ring all grab hands and run around in circles. The chair is placed down and MJF sits in it and is lifted, but nearly dropped multiple times.
As this continues, the theme for "Jungle Boy" Jack Perry hits to cut off the Jewish celebratory tunes. Out comes the former Jurassic Express tag-team member as MJF looks extremely pissed off. He heads down to the ring and crashes the party.
Before he can say a word, another theme song hits and out comes Sammy Guevara. "The Spanish God" of the Jericho Appreciation Society, who is scheduled to compete in the AEW Trios Championship main event later tonight, heads down to the ring as well.
Sammy goes to speak but then another theme hits and out comes Darby Allin to a huge pop. All the "pillars" of AEW are in the ring now and with all the re-Bar Mitzvah junk removed from the ring, you can bet this is gonna turn physical before all is said-and-done.
Maxwell Jacob Friedman speaks finally, asking the three what they are doing out here. They all say at the same time, "I want a title shot." MJF says that was cute but wants them to get real. He says they're ruining his re-Bar Mitzvah. Jungle Boy chimes in and tells him to shut up.
Jungle Boy goes on to talk about MJF having everything handed to him. He says he was busy working on AEW Dark while MJF was getting opportunity after opportunity. He asks if he's even wrestled on AEW Dark before.
He says he knows the other guys in the ring have. He says MJF doesn't even work Rampage. He comes out and does the same hokey bullsh*t that he's been doing for the past four years, eating up a quarter of the two-hour time slot in the process. The fans break out in a "Hokey bullsh*t" chant.
MJF tries cutting in but now Sammy tells him to shut up before this re-Bar Mitzvah becomes a re-circumcision. He then makes many of the same points Jungle Boy just did until he talks about overcoming ten years of work on the independent scene. He says he was designed to be the bump guy for Chris Jericho in the Inner Circle.
He says he scratched and earned his way to multiple title reigns. He says he got himself where he is now and will also get himself to AEW World Championship status. He says whether he or these dumb Canadians like it or not, Sammy Guevara is gonna become a world champion because he's the best ever ...and you know it.
Friedman reacts and says it was cute that Sammy took his catch phrase. He then mentions Sammy getting into a bunch of brawls in the back. Now Darby Allin cuts him off and says enough. He says it's his turn to talk. The fans chant his name but he asks them to hold his applause until he says his piece.
He tells a story about being in film school and being told to change one of his films. He said he told them he'd rather just drop out of school than change one of his films. He then explains his hard fought journey making it to AEW.
He then uses a douche-chill-providing high-pitched voice to reenact those in the back, and MJF in the ring, going on Twitter to whine about not being happy and threatening to quit if they don't get their way. He says guess what he's gonna do ... then says never mind he'll just go b*tch on Twitter.
MJF yells enough and says he's earned it. He takes his sunglasses off to show his horrifying looking swollen and bloody eyes. He then shoots shots at everyone in the ring, including Sammy, who he says he'll be proposing to a new girl soon. Guevara says that's funny because didn't MJF's fiancee' leave him?
The AEW Champion says Sammy has Chris Jericho, Darby has Sting and even Jungle Boy has Christian. He says MJF has nobody because unlike them, he doesn't need to be enrolled into AEW daddy-day-care. He says he's been ready since day one.
He admits the other three are also pillars of AEW, but he's the only one who can hold this place up, and says that's a fact. He boasts beating the other three and says they don't deserve a shot at his title. He says they're gonna leave, because he wasn't invited to his party in the first place.
He then gets too familiar with each of them. Jungle Boy decks him and then the other three join in. MJF ends up knocked out of the ring where he crashes through a table with cakes and pies on it. The fans chant "You deserve it!" as a black-eyed, cake-covered MJF heads to the back enraged. Very, very good opening segment for this week's show.
We are shown footage of Chris Jericho being honored in Winnipeg earlier today. From there, we head back inside the arena where "Wild Thing" hits. Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta head to the ring for our first match of the evening.
As the Blackpool Combat Club trio heads to the squared circle, we head to a commercial break. When we return from the break, the BCC trio are finishing up their entrance. The music then cuts off and they await the arrival of their opposition for tonight's opener.
With that said, the theme for The Dark Order hits and out comes Evil Uno and Stu Grayson. Also coming out is former AEW World Champion "Hangman" Adam Page. The six men are in the ring and ready to rock and roll.
The bell sounds and we're officially off-and-running with this one. We see Evil Uno immediately charge across the ring and blast Wheeler Yuta with a big kick. He takes him to the corner and chops the piss out of him but then Yuta bull-rushes him into the BCC corner where he tags in Moxley.
Mox hits the ring and picks up where Yuta left off, taking it to Uno in the BCC corner of the ring. He tags in Claudio Castagnoli, who adds to the growing offensive lead for the trio. Uno tries fighting back but is guzzled him more by the BCC guys, who continue to get in some devastating shots and then quickly tag in another member of the team to keep a fresh man on the softened up Uno at all times.
The commentators point out that Uno seems intent on fighting this one alone, as he hasn't even tried for a tag yet. Moments after they mention this, however, Grayson is tagged in. He hits a meteora off the top and then choke-slams Mox.
Castagnoli catches him with a big boot but then eats a tornado DDT from The Dark Order member. He leapfrogs off the ropes for a splash into a near fall, which Castagnoli survives. He's got the crowd jacked up in Winnipeg, though.
We see the action spill to the floor where we see Grayson hit with a huge spiked pile driver from the Blackpool Combat Club trio. The three celebrate after spiking The Dark Order member on his dome on the floor and then we head to a mid-match commercial break as the action continues.
As we settle back in from the break we see a beaten up Grayson still getting the business from the three BCC members. Moxley works him over in the corner as fans rally behind The Dark Order member with "Stu! Stu! Stu!" chants. The commentators point out that "Hangman" Adam Page has yet to see any action in this match.
Just as they do, however, he is finally tagged in. The "Cowboy sh*t" chants rain down from the fans in Winnipeg as the former AEW Champion takes the hot tag and goes on an offensive spree, hitting and taking out any-and-everything that moves within reach.
Yuta blind-tags in but is power-bombed down by Page. Evil Uno hits a senton off the top-rope to follow-up. We see other members of both teams hit the ring but are taken out, leaving Page and Yuta alone. Yuta rolls away and tags Mox.
The crowd explodes as Mox slowly closes in on Page and the two go nose-to-nose. They begin trading shots and the crowds noise picks up a considerable amount. Page gets the better of the exchange and is set up for his Buckshot Lariat finisher but behind the refs back, Yuta blasts Page with the ring bell to knock him off the ring apron.
Mox looks to take out Uno after we see some big ring-to-floor diving high spots. Uno ends up hitting Mox with his own Paradigm Shift and nearly gets the pin fall, but Mox avoids being put away. The Dark Order duo looks for the Fatality finisher and they connect with it.
They go for the follow-up pin attempt but Yuta hits the ring to break it up just in time. We see Mox and Claudio fire up with double-team offense, which shifts the momentum back in the BCC's favor. Mox ends up locking in a match-ending choke for the win.
Winners: Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta
After the match, Mox refuses to let go of the choke, even changing his grip to modify into a different choke.
Uno tries making the save but the three BCC members gobble him up in the process. Finally, Alex Reynolds and John Silver run out and make the save, running off the BCC trio, who get booed like crazy as they exit through the crowd.
Now we shoot to a special video message from Juice Robinson. The NJPW veteran talks directly into the camera and taunts "Absolute" Ricky Starks, vowing he won't do jack-dittly-squat about the attack Robinson gave him last week. After this wraps up, we head to another commercial break.
The promotional graphic for Jade Cargill's Canadian Open Challenge for the TBS Women's Championship is shown on-screen,. Excalibur mentions her open challenge will be up next.
We return from the break and the reigning, defending champion heads to the ring for her first (ain't no way this is it) open challenge against Canadian independent veteran Nicole Matthews.
The bell sounds and we're off-and-running with this one. She pie-faces her to start things off and then hits her with the big boot to the grill. She follows that up with her Jaded finisher and gets the easy squash match victory to improve to a perfect 54-0 in AEW.
Winner and STILL TBS Women's Champion: Jade Cargill
Once the match wraps up, Renee Paquette gets in the ring and gets a post-match interview from Jade Cargill. She asks her about being 54-0 and Cargill asks if Paquette is Canadian. She gets in her face and backs her in the corner, intimidating her.
Cargill gets on the mic and asks if this is the best Canada has to offer. The theme for Taya Valkyrie hits and the free agent from Canada makes her way down to the ring. We see her go face-to-face with Cargill.
Leila Grey tries to get in her face. Cargill exits the ring, so Valkyrie turns to Grey and hoists her up and plants her down into the mat with her finisher. Cargill raises her title in the air as she backs up the entrance aisle and heads to the back. Valkyrie stands tall in the ring as the post-match segment wraps up.
Now we head backstage where Tony Schiavone is standing by with Ricky Starks. He asks him about the attack from Juice Robinson and his comments earlier tonight. "Absolute" Ricky Starks says Robinson did a good job attacking him ...from behind.
He brings up Robinson being part of The Bullet Club, but claims they haven't been relevant since 2015. He says he should have learned from all his dealings with groups in AEW like Team Taz and the Jericho Appreciation Society. He tells Robinson if he wants some, come get some. Same goes for The Bullet Club. After this we head to another commercial break.
We return from the break and head to our debut edition of QTV, which is essentially a parody of the TMZ television show on FOX and the never-explained GTV segments from WWE's Attitude Era, only douchier. We see QT Marshall and others talking about Wardlow's down fall. Footage is shown of the TNT Championship being stolen from Wardlow.
We see Poweerhouse Hobbs sitting with the TNT title and others telling bad jokes and mocking "Ruthless Aggression" stuff from yester-year in WWE. They say nothing is next for Wardlow because he left his passport in his car, and it was stolen.
Hobbs ends the segment by saying, "Welcome to Will's world, bitch!" Wayne's World, eBaums World, hell, War of the Worlds. Any of those sound better, but I digress ....
The familiar sounds of Jeff Jarrett's theme hits the house speakers inside the Canadian Life Centre. The founder of IMPACT Wrestling and one-half of the Housekeeping match from WWE's past heads down to the ring for his title opportunity.
He settles in the ring and we hear the theme for Orange Cassidy hit. The AEW All-Atlantic Champion is looking to level-up his championship with an AEW International Championship victory in tonight's inaugural title tilt. He heads to the ring with his back-pack and pulls out the new title after we see someone dressed up like The Shockmaster at ringside.
"The Dapper Yapper" Justin Roberts handles the formal pre-match ring introductions for the champion and the challenger and then the bell sounds to officially get this one off-and-running.
We see highlights and the commentators sell the fact that Orange Cassidy's knee was softened up last week. We see Jarrett get the better of the first and second lock-up with the champ. Each time he over-celebrates with his double-peace sign strut. The modern-day Roadie, Sonjay Dutt, does it as well at ringside. He can't wait to be alone with his ba...never mind!
This same routine continues for a bit as Jarrett struts and taunts the champ and the crowd every time he gets an offensive upper-hand. He tucks his hands in his spandex tights and mocks Cassidy's wimpy-kick "sweet shin music" routine. Cassidy finally fires up and starts to get in some offense.
As we settle back in from the break, we see Jarrett still dominating the action, focusing his offensive attack on the already softened up knee of the "Freshly Squeezed" one, likely setting him up for the figure-four leg-lock later on. Satnam Singh gets involved at ringside at one point.
Back in the ring, we see Jarrett look to set Cassidy up for a leg submission, which the commentators presume is the figure-four, but instead he slaps the Sharpshooter on him to taunt he and the Canadian crowd. That's two Bret cheap-heat gets by my count thus far this evening.
Satnam gets involved again and the ref gets bumped just after Cassidy finally starting showing signs of life, and hand-in-pocket mode is engaged. Jarrett grabs the guitar for a cheap shot after the official is bumped, but Aubrey Edwards runs down and yanks it away from him.
The Aubrey-haters will have a field day with that one. "She just wants to be involved!" Didn't Earl Hebner push everyone and point to his logo-covered pocket? Didn't the nWo have a heel Nick Patrick referee (who also ruined the Sting-Hulk Hogan Starrcade '97 finish). Didn't WWE blow-off the Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant feud with a Hebner twin referee finish? Should I go on ....? Misogynistic crapola, I say!
Cassidy finally fires up and the bumped referee recovers in time to score the three-count for Cassidy to get his hand raised and solidify his status as the first AEW International Champion. After the match we see a hype video for tonight's AEW Trios Championship main event and then head to another commercial break.
Winner and STILL AEW International Champion: Orange Cassidy
Once we return from the break, we see a new music video from The Acclaimed. Max Caster shows off his rhyme game and then we return inside the arena where The Outcasts trio heads down to the ring.
Saraya, Ruby Soho and Toni Storm settle in the ring and their music dies down. Ruby Soho starts off by talking about how the grass seemed greener when AEW first launched. She talks about how the three of them pissed all over that grass and boasted how they show how to house-break non-house-broken bitches.
Saraya hops on the mic and says everyone should be kissing the ground they walk on. She says she's getting angry so she passes the mic off to Toni Storm. Storm complains about only having an interim title and boasts that The Outcasts aren't going anywhere.
She salivates at the prospect of ruining rookie prospects momentum, listing off Skye Blue, Willow Nightingale, Dr. Britt Baker and their favorite, Jamie Hayter. This brings out Baker and Hayter, who hit the ring with a ton of fire and a brawl breaks out.
Baker takes her belt off and gets ready to whack Soho with it, but Storm hits her from behind. Saraya does the same to Hayter and now The Outcasts beat down the two.
After laying them out, Riho's theme hits and she sprints down to the ring with a bat or pipe in her hand. The Outcasts run off. After this, we head to another commercial break.
When we return from the break, we shoot to "Daddy Magic" Matt Menard and Angelo Parker who do their usual shtick. They are announced for a match against the Bollywood Boyz for Rampage. Taya Valkyrie will also appear.
Powerhouse Hobbs will hold a TNT Championship open challenge. Now we shoot to Rey Fenix, who is standing by with Alex Abrahantes. He accepts the challenge and will be Hobbs' opponent.
Hook vs. Stokeley Hathaway for the FTW title is announced for next week's Dynamite. More matches for the show will be announced on Rampage: St. Patrick's Day Slam this Friday night.
We head back inside the arena where the lights go out. When they come back on, the reigning and defending AEW Trios Champions The House Of Black make their way out. Malakai Black, Buddy Matthews and Brody King settle in the ring accompanied by Julia Hart.
Now the familiar sounds of The Elite's theme plays. Out comes hometown hero Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks (Nick and Matt Jackson). They settle in the ring and Omega gets a super-rock-star reaction from his hometown crowd.
The "Judas in my Mind" tune by Fozzy plays and out comes the other hometown boy, Chris Jericho, accompanied by Jericho Appreciation Society members Daniel Garcia and Sammy Guevara. Don Callis takes his spot on commentary. Jericho is getting a super mega-rock-star reception from the Winnipeg crowd as well.
We hear a "holy sh*t" chant before the bell even sounds. Now Aubrey Edwards, the official for this main event title bout, calls for the bell. The bell sounds and we're officially off-and-running with our final match of the evening.
Sammy Guevara and Brody King kick things off in the ring. Brody immediately plants Guevara on his butt. The fans drown out the commentators with deafening "This is Awesome!" chants. Jericho tags in and the crowd goes absolutely nuts. Malakai tags in and the fans chant "Holy sh*t" before they even do anything.
Omega is tagged in instead and the two hometown boys stare each other down in the middle of the ring. We see the Alpha and Omega stare-down as the fans go completely and totally insane with noise. All nine men start brawling and then Excalibur talks us into a mid-match commercial break.
As we settle back in from the break, we see Jericho and Omega end up going face-to-face again to the delight of the Winnipeg crowd. The commentators question if they'll actually get physical this time.
And they do. And the crowd goes ape-sh*t.
We see Buddy Matthews try and get in the mix, but he is knocked out of the picture. The same can be said for others. Finally Jericho and Omega hockey-punch the crap out of each other as the packed crowd tests the stability of the roof at the Canadian Life Centre, as they are attempting to raise it to the point of explosion. Probably better choice of words to describe that. But we move on, nonetheless!
Now we get high spot central 2023, which is pretty usual in a match with The Young Bucks in particular. These are some particularly cool ones, and as always, in rapid-fire fashion to the point that it's silly to try and keep up typing along as it unfolds. We head to a mid-match commercial break once again.
When we return from the break we see Omega firing up on Jericho, whom he dumps out to the floor. He looks at the crowd, who start loudly clapping to the tune of the Terminator theme song. He runs and hits a diving senton over the ropes that even the harshest sideline judges would give a straight run of perfect 10 scores to.
Brody King heads to the top-rope looking out to the floor and the crowd "ooh's" and "ahh's" at that alone. Omega heads up and stops him but then Brody knocks him off. Jericho lands some right hands on Brody and climbs up after him but Brody shucks him off as well.
Omega hits a running shot to Brody and stuns him and then he climbs back up again. Jericho climbs up on the opposite side and the two hit a double super-plex to bring down Brody the hard way. The crowd explodes.
We shoot to a scene in the back and we see John Silver and Hangman Page duking it out with the Blackpool Combat Club. The commentators mention that the other members of The Dark Order are at the hospital.
Back to the live action we see Jericho hit a code-breaker for a pin attempt. Matt Jackson hits his series of suplexes spots and the crowd pops again. Tony Schiavone gives high praise to the superb athleticism being put on display in this AEW Trios Championship contest.
Daniel Garcia flattens Matt Jackson and sets him up for Sammy Guevara, who hits a shooting star press. He goes for the cover but Brody King rushes over and breaks things up. We see The House Of Black strategically take out everyone so they can triple-team up on individuals. We see Jericho planted and nearly pinned but the attempt is broken up.
Now we see Chris Jericho grab Floyd the baseball bat and blast one of the House of Black members with it behind Aubrey Edwards' back. Sammy Guevara follows up with a picture-perfect shooting star press off the top. The House of Black fight back into control and after a Dante's Inferno finisher, we see them score the pin fall to retain their AEW Trios Championships.
Winners and STILL AEW Trios Champions: The House of Black
Once the main event wraps up, we see The House of Black standing tall after retaining their titles and then out comes Jake Hager with his goofy ass purple bucket hat on.
He hits the ring but then from the back we see Blackpool Combat Club and "Hangman" Adam Page and The Dark Order brawl out to the ring. Page ends up in the middle of The Elite and the BCC. That's how this week's show goes off the air. Thanks for joining us!
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