It’s Friday, you know what that means! It’s time for the fastest hour in all of pro-wrestling, once again at a ridiculously early time, AEW Rampage. We have a TNT title match as well as an Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Quarter Final to look forward to tonight/this evening/this afternoon (delete as applicable) so let’s waste no more time, with Excalibur, Taz & The Wizard (TM) Chris Jericho on commentary, let’s get straight to the wrestling!
We’re starting off with a match straight away as once again, YouTube was utilised to show the entrances. The Blade starts off with Penta in the ring and they take their time to begin wrestling. Blade answers the Zero Miedo but Penta comes back with a Superkick and then a kick to the stomach before tagging PAC into the match. The Bastard holds open Blade’s legs to allow Penta to hit the dropkick from the top and then Penta attacks Blade with strikes. He makes the mistake of trying to attack Butcher on the apron and Butch wins out on the outside. He returns PAC to the ring and tags into the match but PAC’s speed gets the better of him and a dropkick from the top gives him the advantage. Jericho names Butcher & Blade his Sports Entertainers of the week but Butcher is allowed to tag out to Marq Quen and PAC just hits a hip toss and tags in Fenix who has a nice back and forth with Quen and surprisingly it’s Quen who has the better of him as Fenix shows his ring rust. Quen wastes too much time and Fenix manages to get back into it with an awesome kick but he ends up being sent to the apron and then onto the barricade to send us to break. The AFO dominate during the 90 seconds, exchanging tags and isolating Fenix.
When we return, Blade has Fenix locked in a headlock and fighting towards his corner but Butcher and Quen take out PAC and Penta on the apron and then both of them take turns in the ring, Quen hitting a 450 for a two count before he takes out Penta & PAC on the outside. Blade & Butcher isolate Fenix and think they have the match won but Fenix kicks out of everything they throw at him at 2.9 before finally getting some space with a Hurricanrana and then his Backheel Kick before tagging out to Penta and Quen tags in too. Penta takes out Quen and Butcher with a Slingblade and the Cazadora on Quen into the DDT on Butcher. He tags in PAC and he hits Quen with kicks and Sole butts before a Deadlift Snap German Suplex gets a two count but Quen’s leg falls on the ropes. PAC hits a release German Suplex after the Lucha Bros take out Butcher & Blade and then we get the Double Team Fear Factor from Penta & Fenix and a Black Arrow from PAC to earn them the win.
After the match, the lights go out and The House of Black appear when they come back on but they simply turn the lights out again and disappear before anything can happen between the teams.
Next up is the Chairman who has changed his twitter name to Giant Killer in preparation for his inevitable cage match with Wardlow. As such, Spears is going to test that moniker against a big man tonight in Bear Boulder. Boulder approaches Spears after the Bell and Spears taunts him so Boulder picks him up. Spears escapes but gets caught for a second time and then just slammed into the mat. Boulder tries a splash in the corner but Spears escapes and hits multiple strikes in the corner but the Bear counters and then manages to hit the splash. He then tries to hit the strikes on Spears but Shawn pokes his eye and then hoists him up for an impressive C4 whilst calling out Wardlow.
Spears grabs his chair after the match and hits Bear Boulder with some cheap shots and then tells Wardlow that he’s coming.
Sterling says he’s not a wrestler so he can’t wrestle in the tag match against Hook & Danhausen but Tony Nese says it’s fine and he’ll beat both of them on his own. He tells Sterling to put 10K on them in Vegas. Taz says one of them gets beaten by his boy at DoN when we come back to commentary.
Is that Smart, Mark… to put $10K on @TonyNese?! The #PremierAthlete & @MarkSterlingEsq will collide with HOOKHausen (@730Hook & @DanhausenAD) at #AEWDoN (Double Or Nothing) Buy-In LIVE on Sunday, May 29th!— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) May 13, 2022
Tune in NOW to #AEWRampage on TNT! pic.twitter.com/F7UgYmpCgk
Next up is the women’s tournament match and Riho hates Ruby’s entrance music. She takes that out on Ruby, backing her into the ropes early on but Ruby fights back as both of them exchange wrist control and headlocks. They move to exchanging roll ups and then Ruby takes over completely with a kick to the midsection and back. Riho tries to fight back but Soho blocks the Suplex attempt before she does manage to get back into it with a Cazadora. Ruby fights back in the corner, driving Riho into the turnbuckle face first. Ruby tries foot stomps from the top but tweaks her Knee and Riho goes right about targeting it with a submission but Ruby reaches the ropes and we go to break. Riho hits some diving Foot Stomps to really take control and then she goes for another Cazadora but Ruby reverses and takes over by targeting Riho’s old shoulder injury. Riho escapes with a backslide and then attacks Ruby with her feet before we get the blackout.
When we return, Riho is still on top and hits a Knee strike in the corner and then a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Riho climbs up top but Ruby goes up to stop her. Riho fights her off and hits a cross body but Ruby rolled through and hits a strike for two before Riho comes back with a Crucifix Bomb for her own two. Ruby fights back and hits a Backdrop Driver for two and then gets another two from a kick straight away. She then hits the Blade Runner and manages finally to keep Riho down for three.
Billy Gunn invites a camera crew to a faction meeting where they discuss hand gestures and catchphrases where Austin & Colten keep bringing up DX stuff and Billy chooses The Acclaimed’s suggestions instead before they all get excited for their Dark Elevation match Billy got them. This faction has so much promise for funny segments like this.
.@RealBillyGunn requested documentation for this meeting between #GunnClub (@theaustingunn/@coltengunn) & #TheAcclaimed (@PlatinumMax/@Bowens_Official) - Tune in NOW to #AEWRampage on TNT! pic.twitter.com/y8baYZvDhf— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) May 13, 2022
Tony Schiavone brings Jade and her baddies out to the ring, Sterling hobbles after them. Commentary tells us Red Velvet’s opponent in the Owen, Hikaru Shida, is injured and Schiavone makes the announcement to the baddies and the crowd. Jade passes over to Mark who says that Red Velvet should win by forfeit but Tony says that’s not the case and TK has a replacement and It’s Kris Statlander who comes out the ramp for a stare down.
TBS Champion @Jade_Cargill and The Baddies @hoganknowsbest3 and @Thee_Red_Velvet chat to @tonyschiavone24 to find out who Red Velvet will be facing in the next round of the #OwenHart Foundation Women's Tournament next week on #AEWRampage! Tune in to @tntdrama right now! pic.twitter.com/wblXMFSIR2— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) May 13, 2022
Mark asks Sky about facing his former partner and Ethan answers for him by asking why Kaz gets a shot and Dan asks “and?” and Scorpio says that the TNT champ's word means something from now on. Kazarian says that Mark asked them nothing and they mock him and Scorpio gives them the night off. Scorpio ends by saying he’s the face of TNT. Looks like we’ve had enough talk, it’s time for the main event!
As Kaz makes his entrance, we see Sammy Guevara & Tay Conti in the crowd with their AAA Mixed Tag Titles. The match begins with a handshake as the crowd chant SCU before they lock up and it’s a real battle with no winner. They go back for a second try and Kazarian wins out this time as he takes Sky down but Sky fights back to his feet and grabs wrist control before Frankie drops him with a Shoulder Tackle before both men show they know each other so well that they counter everything. Kaz locks in a Short Arm Scissor hold and Sky escapes with a roll up twice before they both try for their finisher, The TKO for Sky and the Cross Face Chicken Wing for Kaz before they collide heads in the middle. Kaz counters a Russian Leg Sweep into a Backslide for two before he hits a Fisherman’s Suplex for two. Sky sends Kaz to the outside and hits him with a Tope Con Hilo to send us to break with the champ back on top. They go back between the ropes and Sky follows up with a big Backbreaker. He locks in a Chin Lock to give himself a breather but Kaz nearly rolls him up. Sky locks in an Abdominal Stretch only for Frankie to escape with a Hip Toss. Sky fights back and lays in some foot stomps and elbow drops and forces Kaz to kick out of a pin attempt. Kaz comes back with an Arm breaker but Sky replies with an elbow strike.
Kazarian hits a leg drop over the middle rope as we return and then comes back in with a roll up for two before he hits some kicks and a Clothesline. Kazarian goes for his Springboard Leg Drop but Scorpio sees it coming and counters, he tries for a TKO but Sky then gets rolled up for two. Kaz hits a quick bodyslam then hits the leg drop for two. He tries for the Chicken Wing again and Sky escapes with the Jaw Breaker. Kaz hits a huge Cutter as Sky dives back into the ring but Scorpio kicks out somehow. Kaz goes for another Chicken Wing but Sky fights out of it twice with Hip Tosses but Kazarian just holds on the entire time. Sky is fading but Dan Lambert comes down and distracts the ref so Ethan can hit Kaz with the title. Scorpio falls on top of him but Kazarian still kicks out but as soon as Sky gets back to his feet, he hits the TKO and gets the victory.
Sky didn’t know about the cheating and celebrates with Lambert and Ethan afterwards before Kaz tells him what happened. Sky berates them and Ethan admits it before asking whose team he’s on and Sky answers by taking out Kaz with his title. Men of the Year hug and Lambert takes the mic to say he loves when a plan comes together. He then insults Tay so Sammy rushes the ring and accidentally makes the save, sending Lambert, Page and Sky running.
#DanLambert's plans moving along swimmingly, as #MenOfTheYear @OfficialEGO and @ScorpioSky show off their true colors here at #AEWRampage! What a night of action on @tntdrama! pic.twitter.com/BoNhSKXsg7— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) May 13, 2022
Another episode of Rampage in the books and this was okay, but in comparison to Dynamite this week, a big come down. But alas, even bad AEW has some positives and we had plenty in this show so it’s no big deal. See you all next week and if you’re on twitter, give me a follow @Knapphausen. Have a great weekend!