WWE SmackDown Results - May 13, 2022

Opening Video: RK-McBro vs the Bloodline at WrestleMania Backlash

We open with a video highlighting the main event six-man match, which replaced the previously-advertised title unification bout. The Bloodline would go on to smash. Michael Cole and Pat McAfee welcome us to SmackDown.

Raw Tag Team Champions RK-Bro Are Here!

The Raw Tag Team Champions make their way out as Cole recaps Raw, in which the Street Profits failed to defeat RK-Bro after the brutal battle just one night prior. The tag champs get in the ring and on the mic as the crowd really shows them some love. Today's Riddle flip-flop CGI graphic: rabbits! Orton welcomes everyone Friday Night SmackDown and continues. "My partner Riddle and I are very, very excited to be here. But I got to admit to you, my partner and I are also sick and tired of the chase. Now it's very obvious that the Usos don't have the balls to make any decisions for themselves." He pauses for crowd reaction, then both he and Riddle give him props for being the leader of the Bloodline and his actions at Backlash. "One of the things I'm best at is seeing patterns. It's like my sixth or even seventh sense. And one thing I've noticed is every time the Usos can't handle business, Roman Reigns comes in and handles it for them." Orton agrees, stating everyone's sick and tired of it. He then demands that RK-Bro become the Undisputed Tag Team Champions of the world. Orton then calls out "the big dog, tribal chief, the mountain, the moment maker, Roman Reigns, whatever you want to call your happy ass, get out here." And here comes Sami Zayn!

Sami Zayn Confronts RK-Bro

Zayn comes out wearing a Bloodline shirt and walks down the ramp, chastising the Raw duo for thinking they can just snap fingers and demand Reigns come out. Zayn calls himself the SmackDown locker room leader, then states he speaks for the Bloodline, the locker room, and the WWE Universe and no one wants the title unification match. He enters the ring, telling RK-Bro that if the match happens, they'd lose. He states he's trying to handle this the way a leader would, with diplomacy, and praises RK-Bro for being loved--and is interrupted with a "Sami sucks" chant. "What I suggest," Sami continues, "is that you take your Raw tag team titles and you go back to Raw! And don't come back. Just go...and don't come back." Orton states he called out Roman Reigns and asks if Zayn is Roman's errand boy. Riddle then calls Sami "Samoan Sami" and states he's going to call him Rusty "because your hair is the color of rust." The crowd chants "Rusty" and "Rusty sucks" from here onward. Zayn attempts to get the crowd to stop but fails. He then warns RK-Bro about what happens when you disrespect the Bloodline--Zayn handles it just like he did Shinsuke Nakamura last week.

Orton states "you're not an errand boy..you're making calls for the Bloodline." HE praises Sami on having the "cool" job for being a shot caller, and for "not just out here running your mouth" but being "a vital part of SmackDown." Orton thinks it's perfect, adding "dot his for us, Sami, make the match right here tonight. Sami Zayn versus Riddle. If Riddle wins, we get the (title unification bout)." Riddle tells "Rusty" to come on. Zayn seems torn and the crowd chants positively for "Rusty" so Sami agrees. "However," he states as he rolls out the ring and the crowd boos, "there's no way it's going to happen tonight. Maybe in a week or two." He states it's complicated and he has to run this up the pole...then enter WWE Official Adam Pearce! "Scrap Daddy" thinks the match is a great idea and makes it official. "And Sami," Pearce continues, "the match starts right now!"

Singles Match: Riddle w/ Randy Orton vs Sami "Rusty" Zayn

We return from the break and are informed that the special stipulation does not apply as Zayn is not an "official with the Bloodline." Riddle starts off with a quick submission attempt but Rusty gets a foot on the bottom rope. Zayn takes the early lead until Riddle counters a Zayn charge with a kick to the back of the head that stuns Sami. Riddle fires off his combination of kicks and looks for a standing Bro-ton but Zayn gets the knees up. Zayn looks for a Helluva Kick, only to run into a foot from Riddle. Riddle climbs up top but Zayn pops up and shoves Riddle off the top turnbuckle, sending him crashing hard to the ringside area. We go to break. When we return we're told by Cole that Zayn's dominated Riddle for the entire commercial break. The crowd chants "let's go Riddle" as Zayn ascends the turnbuckles. Riddle pops up and looks for a Super RKO but Zayn battles him back.
Zayn leaps off and Riddle catches him mid-air with a knee to the chin, covering for a close two! Zayn looks for a Blue Thunder Bomb after blocking Riddle's signature. Zayn covers and gets a close two, and the crowd chants "Rusty sucks." Zayn positions Riddle right in front of Orton, sets up the Spike DDT, and is immediately dumped to the floor by a recovering Riddle. Riddle with a punt kick along the apron followed by a Bro-ton outside. Riddle catches a running Zayn with an Orton spinning Powerslam, hits the Spike DDT, then pounds the mat in preparation of the three most dangerous letters in blah blah blah. Riddle looks for an RKO but Zayn retreats to the outside. Riddle follows and looks for a headlock, but Zayn shoves him into the ring post. Zayn throws Riddle into the timekeepers area, just as he did last week against Shinsuke, and runs back into the ring. Orton tries to cheer Riddle on. Riddle barely beats the ten count! Rusty argues with the official, setting up a quick Bro Derek from Riddle to put Zayn away!

Your Winner, Riddle!

Backstage: the Bloodline

We cut to the back where the Bloodline are watching. Roman asks "the Wiseman" Heyman why RK-Bro are here on his show after they "done smashed 'em." The Usos complain about the mean, hurtful comments Orton's said about the Usos and how they're Roman's bitches. The Usos then spout some of their own SmackDown tag accolades and state that by the end of the night, the world is going to acknowledge Roman. We go to break.

Backstage: Sami "Rusty" Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura

Zayn's backstage, distraught and unwinding his taped hands, when Nakamura comes over to mock him for his loss.

The NEW SmackDown Champion Addresses the WWE Universe

Ronda Rousey makes her way out to a decent pop. Cole and McAfee recap the "I Quit" match this past Sunday, when Rousey forced Flair to tap out and "broke her arm" (re: time off for her upcoming wedding/honeymoon). Rousey states that it's nice that Flair's had 13 title runs but Rousey has the belt now. Rousey wants to be a fighting champion and issues an open challenge. Raquel Rodriguez (Raquel Gonzalez from NXT) makes her way out and to the ring. She speaks half English, half Spanish (new character) and states that she accepts the challenge. This championship bout is up next!

SmackDown Championship Match: Ronda Rousey(c) vs Raquel Rodriguez

The match keeps a slower pace and both women switch control frequently. Raquel gets a chance to show off the powerhouse style she was known for in NXT, especially when she counters a Rousey guillotine submission into a lengthy vertical suplex of her own. Raquel gets a close two. Raquel looks to start a focused offense on Rousey's shoulder but the champ doesn't give her the time, unloading her Rousey combination strikes to stun Raquel. Rousey with a running jumping knee followed by kicks. Rousey looks for Piper's Pit but Rodriguez counters into a slam of her own, covering for two once again. Finally the pace picks up! Raquel looks for the Chingona Bomb but Rousey counters. Rousey picks the leg and locks in an ankle lock but Raquel rolls to her back and kicks Rousey off. Rousey charges into a big boot and yet another close call for Rodriguez! Raquel sets up another Chingona Bomb but Rousey rolls through and steals the win.

Your Winner and STILL SmackDown Champion, Ronda Rousey!

Backstage: WWE Official Adam Pearce, Shotzi Blackheart, and Aliyah

Pearce stands there as Shotzi and Aliyah argue over blocking each other from making it to the ring before Raquel to accept the title challenge.

Madcap Moss Has the Last Laugh!

I didn't name the segment that, the 'E did. Prior to the segment, the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy is set up at ringside. After a recap from this past Sunday, in which Moss beat Corbin, we return to Kayla Braxton and Madcap Moss in the ring. Moss states if Corbin had told him "one more story about how much his watch cost, I'd have probably tapped out from boredom" right then and there. He goes on to insult Corbin's baldness (cue: Will Smith?) and tattoos. When he's asked what's next, he starts to talk about replacing his suspenders with titles (of the Championship variety) until Corbin attacks with a steel chair. Corbin beats Moss with the cheer, ultimately wedging Moss' neck in it before smashing the massive trophy down onto the chair. Moss jerks around in pain and officials hit the ring, including Adam Pearce. Corbin is happy with his actions and leaves as the crowd boos and officials call for medical staff.

WWE Women's Tag Team Championship Match: the Boss & Glow(c) vs Natalya & Shayna Baszler

The challengers are out first. We get official introductions, then the Boss and Glow's entrance. We start quickly with Shayna and Naomi. Baszler looks to go after the same arm she injured on Naomi two weeks ago, but Naomi's too quick. Banks is tagged in and looks for a cover early. Natalya tags in and battles the Boss into the corner. Natalya stomps away at Banks and chokes her with a foot in the corner. Banks counters a whip then uses a headscissors takedown to send Natalya across the ring, following it up with a speedy Meteora and a cover for a one. Banks again goes for a pair of covers, garnering barely a one both times. Banks locks in the Bank Statement but Baszler encourages her partner on and Nattie grabs the bottom rope. Nattie with a facebuster to Banks, but Banks again goes for the Bank Statement. It's unclear if Baszler made a blind tag at this point. Shayna enters the ring and stomps Banks, then begins to work over Banks as we go to break. When we return, we find Banks and Natalya going at it. Cole informs us that Natalya's dominated throughout the break and Banks needs a tag desperately.

Baszler and Natalya double-team Banks; Baszler goes for the cover but Naomi makes the save. Naomi sends Shayna & Natalya out of the ring then rallies Banks as she crawls across the mat. Baszler drags Naomi off the apron to block the tag and attempts to stomp Naomi's arm, but Banks makes the save. Banks tags in Naomi who leaps to Baszler outside and unloads rights. Naomi takes it back into the ring and uses a heel kick to drop Baszler. Naomi attacks Natalya to send her off the apron, then uses a jaw breaker and a kip-up on Baszler. Baszler drops Naomi and covers, her feet up on the rope--and Natalya holds the feet down, no less!--but the ref catches them. Natalya comes in and Naomi drops her with a springboard knee to the side of her head. Banks comes in, favoring her leg with a slight limp. All four women come into the ring as we fire up our ending. Backstabber from Banks to Baszler; Natalya attempts a Sharpshooter over Naomi but Naomi counters it into a roll-up, picking up the win.

Your Winners and STILL WWE Women's Tag Team Champions, the Boss & Glow!

Backstage: Intercontinental Champion Ricochet and Drew Gulak

Gulak asks Ricochet for advice. Ricochet states if he had given up when it was tough, he'd not have his title. He tells Gulak to be the best version of himself. Gulak states Ricochet is right and "this version of me won't let WALTER chop me down to size!" He fires himself up and walks off--and right into the presence of WALTER and Marcel Barthel. Marcel asks him to repeat what he wanted to do to the Ring General. The crowd loudly chants "boring." Walter attacks Gulak, ripping his shirt off and slapping the heck out of his chest.

Singles Match: Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods vs "the Butcherweight" Pete Dunne w/ Sheamus & Ridge Holland

The New Day are out first to a decent crowd pop. We head to a commercial ahead of the Butcherweight's entrance. Finally, to quote McAfee, "it's fight night!" The trio come out to a healthy mix of boos. The Butcherweight starts off targeting Kofi's joints, looking to manipulate digits and wrists as is his British Strong Style. Kofi sends Dunne out of the ring and fakes a Suicide Dive at one point, bouncing on the top rope as Xavier plays the trombone and they mock Dunne. We head to break with Dunne laid out, Kofi and Woods taunting him with the horn once again. We return to find Kofi and Dunne battling in the middle of the ring. Kofi unloads rights to Dune's face, causing the Butcherweight to duck under the ropes for shelter. Kofi fires up and hits the SOS, covering for a close two. Kofi looks for a diving attack but Dunne leaps, catching Kofi with a big right that nearly picks up the win for the Butcherweight. We're reminded by commentary that Sheamus is now wearing suspenders, like Dunne. Sheamus fires up the Butcherweight who then attempts a field goal kick. Kofi dodges it but Dunne drops him and sends him into the corner. Dunne charges but Kofi catches him with a stomp jump kick to the chest. Ridge Holland attempts to distract; Xavier Woods gets involved and is wiped out by Sheamus. Sheamus distracts Woods, and Dunne hits a finisher on Kofi. (Inverted Bitter End?) Afterwards, Dunne heads out the ring, over the barricade, and up the stairs into the crowd without explanation.

Your Winner, "the Butcherweight" Pete Dunne!

Friday the 13th Fun Facts

As promised! No in-lore reason was ever given for Jason Voorhees' adopting of the iconic hockey mask in Friday the 13th Part III (a 3D entry, no less), the mask was chosen by the creative team due to the popularity of other masked killers, such as Michael Myers and Leatherface.
What do people say when Jason Voorhees is chasing them? "Stop Jason me!" When Jason Voorhees tells a joke, it really kills. Non movie fun facts, you say? Okay!
Tupac Shakur died on a Friday the 13th. Romans saw the number thirteen as a portent of death and misfortune, and the thirteenth Tarot card is the death card (both of which pre-date the Christianity-based superstition behind the number 13). There are thirteen steps at a proper gallows, and the hangman's noose will have thirteen knots for you. Lizzy Borden only spoke thirteen words at her trial, and Charles Manson + Jack the Ripper both contain thirteen letters. The US Dollar has--and look carefully!--13 steps on the pyramid, 13 bars on the shield, and 13 leaves on the olive branch (albeit, thirteen colonies...). All these facts brought to you during Roman's 5 minute entrance!

The Usos Strike Back

The Bloodline make their way out to the ring, all the titles on display as McAfee sings their praises and such. Five minutes later...The Bloodline pose in the ring with all their belts on display. The crowd both loudly boos Roman and also chants for him--bipolar crowds are fun! Roman takes the mic and pauses before grinning. "Commonwealth of Pennsylvania," pause for cheap pop here, "acknowledge me!" Big pop from the crowd followed by digital boos. "Now, we been doin' this for a moment, y'all know the deal. We smash 'em on Sunday then we come out the next Friday tell y'all who's next. You know what I'm saying? Smashed John Cena, came out the next Friday and told ya what's next. Smashed Brock Lesnar, came out the next Friday and told ya what's next." Roman tells his Wise-man that the problem is they "done smashed 'em all" and the "tribal chief is untouchable. But you see, this is where things get interesting. The Usos, my cousins--my blood--they might have somebody next because there's a challenge on the table for these boys. And the question is, what are they gon' do ab bout it?"

Roman hands the mic to Jimmy but RK-Bro come out instead! RK-Bro get in the ring and on the mic. Orton tells Roman he's never smashed Cena and declares John Cena is ten time the man Roman Reigns will ever be. Riddle starts to ramble on about what he does before bed and the contents of his nightstand--Orton interrupts, afraid it's going somewhere naughty--and Orton is chastised by Riddle for a gutter mind. Orton and Riddle eventually get back to the topic as they want both the titles to create the unified belts. He asks "Do you understand the words that are comin' outta my mouth?" After a short pause, the Usos accept--it's on next Friday on SmackDown! As the Bloodline go on about each man getting two titles, Riddle sucker attacks Roman with a knee to the face that rocks the champ! RK-Bro flee up the ring and it's official!

Next Week: Tag Team Title Unification Match

And on SmackDown! Oh it's true, it's true...it's damn true.